When does a soured work relationship become sexual harassment?

Workplace relationships can be tricky to navigate, particularly when they go sour. What happens when a former partner becomes your harasser at work? It’s important to know your rights and what steps you can take if you’ve become the target of sexual harassment.

Crossing the line

Given the amount of time we spend at work, it’s not all that surprising that workplace romances are common. But as happens with relationships, they can break down. Sometimes, employees part perfectly amicably. Other times, what was once a nice relationship turns into one employee sexually harassing another. This happens when the relationship is not reciprocated or is no longer welcome. Perhaps one of the employees is upset that the relationship is over and keeps pursuing the other in hopes of renewing the connection.

It’s important to understand the definition of sexual harassment in this context: unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favours or unwelcome conduct of a sexual nature in circumstances where a reasonable person would have anticipated that the person being harassed would have been offended, humiliated or intimidated. They may be sending unwelcome text messages or emails or making comments that make you feel uncomfortable.

In these cases, the intent of the person doing the harassing is irrelevant. For instance, the language we often hear from those doing the harassing is, ‘Oh, I was just trying to get him to go out with me again’ or ‘I didn’t mean anything by it, I just really like her’. Whatever the intent, it’s still sexual harassment, and it’s not okay.

Your rights

There are several pieces of legislation in both state and federal law that protect your rights; the legislation varies slightly from state to state but as a broad umbrella, the principles are the same. Basically, you have the right to attend work and be free from harassment.

Your rights can extend outside the workplace as well, provided there’s a sufficient connection with work. If you’re attending work functions, travelling for your job or going to a client or customer function, you should unquestionably be able to go to those work-related events without someone harassing you.

Considerations and options

If a former partner is sexually harassing you at work, the first thing you want to do is make it clear their conduct or behaviour is unwelcome.

Of course, sometimes people on the receiving end can’t always do that. If you can’t make your position clear, or don’t feel comfortable, or feel intimidated, you can raise it with your manager or human resources officer. Under the Fair Work Act 2009 you have the right to make a complaint and not be victimised or punished as a result.

As for how to make a complaint, have a look at your contract of employment, workplace policies or any industrial agreements – they’ll often provide a process and will explain what steps or action you can expect your employer to take. An employer is obliged to act on a complaint of sexual harassment, whether it’s delivered formally or informally, on or off the record. And usually, this results in some form of investigation.

Sexual harassment cases by nature are usually one person’s word against the other. The harassment also often happens behind closed doors or without witnesses. It’s therefore important to keep records of any instances of sexual harassment, such as interactions that make you feel uncomfortable, notes, text messages and emails. You may want to consider including this information in your complaint. Alternatively, you may discuss it with the investigator if one is appointed.

You also have avenues to make a complaint to an external body. Depending on the nature of your case, this might mean a human rights commission or the Fair Work Commission. However, we usually recommend trying to resolve your case at the workplace level before going this route.


Sexual harassment in the workplace can impact the health of the person being harassed.  If your health is suffering it is important that you discuss it with your GP and obtain appropriate medical treatment.

No-one enters into a workplace romance thinking it’s going to end in sexual harassment, but unfortunately, it can and does happen. But if you’re the person being harassed, there are options available to you to stop the treatment and feel safe at work again.

Workplace sexual harassment


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Alexandra Grayson

Maurice Blackburn Sydney

Alexandra (Alex) Grayson is a Principal Lawyer who manages the Employment and Industrial Relations Practice of Maurice Blackburn’s Sydney office. She has almost 20 years’ experience in industrial relations, including almost a decade as a labour lawyer. The prestigious Doyles Guide lists Alex as a recommended lawyer for employees and trade union representation in NSW in 2018 and her team as one of the top law firms …

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